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Wants to be a Videogame

Once, I had the pleasure of sharing an airplane ride with a magnificent young man on his way to a college recruitment visit. When I asked Aaron what he did for fun, he said, "videogames" and went on to explain how he had to be careful not to spend too much time at them. Writing this now, I can just imagine the groans coming from some women. Whether a man in your life in entranced by videogames, or not, there is a lot you can learn from why men love them. In fact, if you were more like a videogame, men would be equally enchanted by you!

Why? Let's take this point-by-point:

  1. In most videogames, if he just moves his player, he gets points. Translation: credit for effort! I've had men say to me, Why is there only 100 points or 0? Why don't I ever get 80 points? They're speaking to the way that women zoom in on what's missing or wrong instead of giving credit for what they're men did accomplish, even when it isn't perfect or the final result.
  2. If he takes bigger risks and succeeds he gets a lot more points. Translation: extra credit for being bold and swinging out! Do you like surprises? Then he's got to get points just for going for it, whether or not it's a home run.
  3. If he takes a risk or makes a wrong move and dies, he can push the reset button. Translation: if he totally blows it, he can try again. This is what it means to be truly forgiven. It means the world.
  4. The learning curve is graduated; the game starts out simpler, then as he masters each level, he gets to choose to up the challenge. Translation: men move from one success to another. A man who is winning with a woman while dating, may take on the "girlfriend" challenge. When he's mastered making his girlfriend happy and knows he can give her what she needs, that makes it possible for him to take on a bigger challenge~marriage.

So, who wants to be a videogame?

Read the next article Ending the War Between the Sexes, Personally